Pain is Weakness Leaving the Body. Unless it’s Cancer … On Your Birthday.

On Burning Bridges and Nuzzling Adversity. As an adult adoptee, the older I get the more mannerisms I see in myself from my parents. If there’s any question regarding the nature versus nurture debate, I can tell you firsthand that it hardly matters if you’re bought or birthed. By way of example, my brother (Jeff) and I were adopted from separate families and not related beyond sharing a last name, yet we both exhibit considerable features of our parents. If you were to meet Jeff, [...]

By |December 6th, 2018|Main Blog, Main Slider, Uncategorized|0 Comments

If You’ve Ever Thought These 7 Things, You Might Have Relationship OCD (as featured at YourTango.com July 2018)

And the 10 Steps to Take if You Do. The power of the human mind is wonderful and boggling - except when it turns on you while peppering your psyche with a staccato of queries about your relationship.  One minute your partner’s grandeur is so intense, it’s cartoonish. How did you ever land such a splendid fish? The next you’re spun into a vortex of doubt, placing them under intense analysis, and scrutinizing every nuance of the relationship, including their questionably thick eyebrows. This barrage [...]

By |November 19th, 2018|Main Blog, Main Slider|1 Comment

What’s Under His Suit? Depression and Anxiety (as featured at PsychCentral.com)

Let’s get candid about male mental health. Men don’t get a lot of compassion — not as a gender, not toward one another, and not toward ourselves. We are the more impulsive, less refined gender that has not progressed much since our cave-dwelling days. We’ve learned to use a salad fork since then, however, and we pretend to enjoy chivalry. Sadly — and perhaps due to our ruffian status — men are often perceived as an expendable lot, regularly sent to do life’s dirty work [...]

By |July 7th, 2018|Main Blog, Main Slider|0 Comments

ANXIETY: Find the Humor, Find the Cure (as featured at ADAA.com, March 2018)

The first time I saw a flameless cigarette lighter anywhere but a car was on an enclosed patio wall of the Oakland psychiatric facility where my therapist had sent me due to anxiety and depression. Smoking was the only vice afforded to us. Though even while despondent, I wasn’t interested in adding nicotine to a budding alcohol addiction. Perhaps I had hope after all. He who has a why to live can bear almost any how. – Friedrich Nietzsche I left triage a few days [...]

By |March 6th, 2018|Main Blog, Main Slider|0 Comments

20 Pros & Cons of Social Media Use (as seen in “Success Magazine,” December 2017)

My generation grew up in an era not known for leaps in technological advances. The lack of fun, lithium-ion powered iThings forced us to engage in antiquated traditions like going outside, socializing or reading. On the upside, living offline allowed us to keep screw-ups to limited audiences. We also experienced less bullying, anxiety and depression than later peers. Today, we often perceive anyone who shuns social media as old or out of touch. However, they might be the most mentally fit among us. In reality, [...]

By |March 6th, 2018|Advice Blog, Advice Slider, Main Blog, Main Slider|0 Comments

Grab Your Coat – it’s Breakup Season!

This is the time of year that Americans pack on a pound or few, while a quiet majority actually loses weight. Like an average of an entire boyfriend/girlfriend. Fall is summer’s hangover. During summer we are often busy with vacations, events, outings, and cruising through the long, action-packed days of our relationships. Any musings whether or not we want to stay with someone are filed away for later appraisal. Come November, when we set the clocks back, a disproportionate number also set their relationships back [...]

By |October 12th, 2017|Main Blog, Main Slider, Uncategorized|0 Comments

Tackling Teen Anxiety (as seen in Diablo Magazine, June 2017)

A Fremont native’s new book helps parents of teens struggling with anxiety. BY LOU FANCHER When he was 13, Jon Patrick Hatcher began cutting himself, and he wrestled with years of substance abuse and panic attacks. As his parents struggled to understand him, they decided their son would benefit from professional help. Talk therapy—and Hatcher’s instinctive sense of humor—were key to helping him accept, acknowledge, and manage his anxiety. Decades later, Hatcher, who got an M.A. from Cal Poly, San Luis Obispo, met Thomas McDonagh, [...]

By |July 6th, 2017|Main Blog, Main Slider|0 Comments

I Don’t Feel Like Peopling: 10 Ways to Slay Social Anxiety (as seen in Reader’s Digest, June 2017)

At home and on social media, you’re an extroverted badass. In public, you become an isolationist dodging eye contact and handshakes, with a tendency towards agoraphobia and a general excitement over cancelled plans. Your favorite party trick is not going. What is Social Anxiety? The most common of all the anxiety disorders, social anxiety is an extreme fear of being scrutinized and judged by others in social or performance situations. A little social anxiety is normal for everyone. However, when social anxiety becomes abnormal, it’s [...]

By |June 21st, 2017|Main Blog, Main Slider, Uncategorized|0 Comments

Stressed, Anxious, or Depressed? The world can harsh your chill (as seen in Justine Magazine, May 2017)

As seen in Justine Magazine - April/May 2017 Only 35 years ago, anxiety did not exist as a diagnosis. Today it’s the most common form of mental illness. But ours is hardly the first troubled era humans have endured. Our predecessors bore much saltier times such as Black Death; World Wars I and II; The Great Depression; Slavery; and that time all the dinosaurs went missing. Prolific news and social media can have us drowning in gloom. The only winners in this unhealthy [...]

By |May 21st, 2017|Main Blog, Main Slider|0 Comments

Birthed or Bought: A lesser-known Mother’s Day perspective

Mother’s Day and Father’s Day for the adopted individual can feel more substantial than for the average accidentally conceived “John” or “Jane.” I don’t purchase many big-ticket items – and, never do I buy things site unseen. So, the premise of procuring a little person this way makes my head spin. Returning from visiting my mom in the hospital this week afforded me some inescapable solace during the long drive home. I pondered the time I've had with her, and was overwhelmed with a sense of [...]

By |May 11th, 2017|Main Blog, Main Slider, Uncategorized|0 Comments