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Pain is Weakness Leaving the Body. Unless it’s Cancer … On Your Birthday.

On Burning Bridges and Nuzzling Adversity. As an adult adoptee, the older I get the more mannerisms I see in myself from my parents. If there’s any question regarding the nature versus nurture debate, I can tell you firsthand that it hardly matters if you’re bought or birthed. By way of example, my brother (Jeff) and I were adopted from separate families and not related beyond sharing a last name, yet we both exhibit considerable features of our parents. If you were to meet Jeff, [...]

By |December 6th, 2018|Main Blog, Main Slider, Uncategorized|0 Comments
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Grab Your Coat – it’s Breakup Season!

This is the time of year that Americans pack on a pound or few, while a quiet majority actually loses weight. Like an average of an entire boyfriend/girlfriend. Fall is summer’s hangover. During summer we are often busy with vacations, events, outings, and cruising through the long, action-packed days of our relationships. Any musings whether or not we want to stay with someone are filed away for later appraisal. Come November, when we set the clocks back, a disproportionate number also set their relationships back [...]

By |October 12th, 2017|Main Blog, Main Slider, Uncategorized|0 Comments
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20 Stealthy Mental Filters That Are Sabotaging You (as seen in “Success Magazine,” October 2017)

There is no upside to negative thinking. It does not prep you for life events, ward off malicious mojo or prevent worrisome outcomes. It does the opposite. It also causes face furrows, addictions, mental disorders, insomnia and heart disease. Most of us unknowingly use automatic thought distortions (aka, mental filters) to subvert ourselves. When we stop, we become models of happiness, positive energy and efficiency. A mental filter is one type of cognitive distortion. It is a biased way of thinking about ourselves or the [...]

By |October 10th, 2017|Main Blog, Uncategorized|2 Comments
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I Don’t Feel Like Peopling: 10 Ways to Slay Social Anxiety (as seen in Reader’s Digest, June 2017)

At home and on social media, you’re an extroverted badass. In public, you become an isolationist dodging eye contact and handshakes, with a tendency towards agoraphobia and a general excitement over cancelled plans. Your favorite party trick is not going. What is Social Anxiety? The most common of all the anxiety disorders, social anxiety is an extreme fear of being scrutinized and judged by others in social or performance situations. A little social anxiety is normal for everyone. However, when social anxiety becomes abnormal, it’s [...]

By |June 21st, 2017|Main Blog, Main Slider, Uncategorized|0 Comments
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Birthed or Bought: A lesser-known Mother’s Day perspective

Mother’s Day and Father’s Day for the adopted individual can feel more substantial than for the average accidentally conceived “John” or “Jane.” I don’t purchase many big-ticket items – and, never do I buy things site unseen. So, the premise of procuring a little person this way makes my head spin. Returning from visiting my mom in the hospital this week afforded me some inescapable solace during the long drive home. I pondered the time I've had with her, and was overwhelmed with a sense of [...]

By |May 11th, 2017|Main Blog, Main Slider, Uncategorized|0 Comments
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The sky is falling … right?

Today’s Anxiety Threat: “High” Only 35 years ago, anxiety did not exist as a diagnosis. Today, it’s the most common form of mental illness. Why? Ours is hardly the first troubled era humans have endured in history. By way of example, our ancestors bore many salty times such as The Crusades; Black Death; World War I; The Great Depression; World War II; The Cold War; The Cuban Missile Crisis; slavery / racism; The Vietnam War; The War on Terrorism; and all those missing dinosaurs – [...]

By |July 27th, 2016|Main Blog, Main Slider, Uncategorized|0 Comments
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Breakup Advice: Don’t fix it if it ain’t broke – or, if it is

There's not enough glue in the world ... Dr. McDonagh and I receive a lot of emails and posts at State of Anxiety from heartache sufferers who could've and should have completely avoided their relationship pain and melee to begin with. Why?? Because the object of their affection was broken. It's inherent in our nature to want to 'right the ship' and repair what's not working. That's all fine. Unless what's not functioning comes with genitalia. Then it's always best to leave the broken pieces where [...]

By |August 11th, 2015|Advice Blog, Advice Slider, Professional Advice, Uncategorized|0 Comments
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101 Ways to Conquer Teen Anxiety

101 Ways to Conquer Teen Anxiety is a funny and significant resource for any teen experiencing anxiety, and currently available at major retailers such as Barnes & Noble, Target, Walmart, and Amazon, or here: Ulysses Press. Nationwide surveys report that today's teens feel significantly more stressed than any other generation. Whether they face problems with school, friends, parents, or all of the above, teens will find a wide variety of easy, stress-coping methods in 101 Ways to Conquer Teen Anxiety. Based on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), the most [...]

By |July 23rd, 2015|Main Blog, Main Slider, Uncategorized|0 Comments
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Breakup Advice: Go ghost

I’d like to address a timely trend we are noticing within recent emails and posts sent by breakup sufferers. It’s related to the premise of “going ghost” following a breakup. It’s not a tool to make your ex wonder what you’re up to, or a component of gamesmanship. This is a self-preservation tactic designed specifically for you. Going ghost is the single best method of preventing regrettable acts. You cannot be remorseful if you have not taken any action but to be still. But, this [...]

By |May 31st, 2015|Advice Blog, Advice Slider, Professional Advice, Uncategorized|3 Comments
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She really isn’t that into you

My dad once told me, “When it comes to women, you gotta be rich or good looking.” I was a fairly lazy kid, so I focused on working-out incessantly and optimizing my “look.” This practice later included such accoutrements as an effeminate mullet shellacked into place with an econo-size can of “Super-Hold” Aqua-Net and a badass Pontiac Trans-Am with an enormous, metallic, fire-breathing bird decal splayed across the hood. Whereas my brother took right to hard work. We both played the cards we were dealt. [...]

By |June 25th, 2012|Main Blog, Main Slider, Uncategorized|4 Comments
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